


I’ll be waiting

by quenoves



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Astral Projection, Becho not together yet, Bellarke, Emori and Murphy are together but it’s not like important to the story, F/M, Lucid Dreaming, Sad, set during those 6 years...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:16:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19775611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quenoves/pseuds/quenoves
Summary: “I want to believe this is real.” He manages out, desperate.“It is if you want it to be.”(Set after S4 ending and before S5. Clarke accidentally astral projects to the Ring because her and Bellamy are soulmates so it just makes sense.)





	I’ll be waiting

Clarke is sitting on the edge of Madi's bed, stroking her hair while she falls asleep. Clarke knows Madi doesn’t need to be soothed to sleep every night, but the truth is, Clarke doesn’t really sleep much, so she has to find ways to keep busy. If she’s awake rolling aimlessly in bed, she’s practically _begging_ to be dead by morning. It’s a depressing fact, but the more she denies it the harder it is to stay alive. Especially lately.

It’s been three years since the world ended, again. She’s happy to spend time with Madi, however, her heart still aches for all loved ones she’s missing. She wonders what they are doing every minute of everyday. It might sound pathetic to some, but she daydreams of them doing the the most mundane things. Her mom patching up someone’s cut, Raven messing with a radio to reach the bunker knowing it’s impossible (because Clarke has given up on getting a response from both sides by now), Monty and Harper giggling together and Murphy suppressing a barf. Most of all, though, she thinks about Bellamy. She thinks about him maybe having some peace for once. She hopes he finds the time for self love in not having so many people to worry about. 

But why would he if she hasn’t? 

Madi starts snoring and Clarke knows it’s time for her to retreat to her room. She sighs at her bed knowing that at this point it’s only there for decoration but climes in anyway. _I’ll try for at least half an hour today_ she promises to herself. She slips off all her clothes and lays in between she sheets naked since it’s hot tonight there’s no on else around anyway. Her eyes flutter shut and for the first time in a long time she thinks she’s actually going to sleep a full night. _Finally_. While Clarke falls almost instantly, the sleep doesn’t get too deep before she feels a punch to her gut that startles her fully awake again. She tries to sit up in panic but her body is paralyzed. She cries out to Madi but her mouth doesn’t move and she can tell only muffled whimpers are coming out. She remembers reading once about sleep paralysis and wonders if her exhaustion could be causing this.

Before she can find any logic she feels her body lift from the bed towards the ceiling. _I should have just stayed awake._ Clarke is completely still while her body crashes though the top of their home and keeps moving towards the stars. She moves though the atmosphere, seeing all kinds of color up close. She wants to marvel at it all but instead blacks out the moment she reaches the stars. When she finally comes to she’s laying down on a cold steel ground and the air around her feels artificial. Once her eyes fully open she pushes her hands to the ground to stand up. She feels half asleep but this is too real to be just dream. 

The hallow metal corridor before her belongs to the Ring. She knows that much. The lights are dimmed down and the only sound is the muffled buzzing of machines within the walls. She starts walking slowly towards the end of the hall and turns right, holding on to the wall for some support since she feels so detached from her body. She finds the hall has three doors and she walks right through the first one to find Murphy and Emori snuggled in bed. She stops dead in her tracks and looks around the room more to get a better grasp of her surroundings. There’s too many details for this to be just a dream, she decides. She hears the couple snoring while she walks around the room and looks closely the clothes that scatter the ground and the balls of blank paper that surround the trash bin. _They must be really bored up here_. She looks back to the bed and smiles to herself. She wants to believe this is real, so for now, it is. 

She walks back out into the hall and peaks her head though her next door and sees Raven asleep at a desk with bags under her eyes. Her room is a mess despite her bed being neatly made. _She must not use it much either._ When she pulls her head back out her bodyturns around practically on its own to a door facing the opposite side of the hall. She is pulled towards the energy coming from behind the door so she walks though fast and she sees him. 

Bellamy sits on the corner of his bed panting harshly as if he had just woken up from a bad dream. He is shirtless so she can see the sweat drenching his body as he runs his hands though his hair in despair. She wants to reach out and hold him, to tell him that it’s okay. She wants him to know she’s alive, that she misses him. She steps closer to Bellamy to get a better look at his face and sure enough his eyes are red and there’s small, slow streams coming down his face and dripping off his chin. Clarke’s own eyes well up at the scene. Oh, how she hopes that he doesn’t cry alone, that he’s opened up more to their friends and let’s out those demons to them so he doesn’t have to do it alone. Clarke reaches out to cup his face but brings it down just as fast. What’s the point. He can’t even see me. 

Bellamy starts sobbing a little louder, but puts his hand over his mouth to muffle his pain. Clarke can’t take this anymore. She sits down by Bellamy on the bed and starts crying out loud, knowing no one can her. 

“I’m so tired of this!”

She fails her arms helplessly and brings them back in to hug herself again. She hasn’t really had the chance to cry like this ever since she found Madi. She doesn’t want Madi to hear her like this. She hasn’t to be strong for her. Even unknowingly, Bellamy Blake has a way of breaking through to her core. 

“Everyday is a knew pain and every pain is a reminder of the fact that I am a monster. Or that I am alone. Or that I should be dead by now!” 

Clarke breathes in heavy to try to suppress the sobs and wipes her eyes to be able to look at Bellamy clearly, but it’s no use. Her emotions are controlling her now and the tears rush out even harder every time she cleans them away.

He’s rubbing his fingers together and whispering things to himself.

”I’m so sorry. I’m trying my best here. I’m sorry.” 

Clarke sniffles and responds as if on impulse, placing her hand on his shoulder.

”You have nothing to be sorry for, Bellamy.” 

Bellamy stiffens at her touch. Alarmed, she let’s go quickly, standing up and backing away from the bed. Bellamy looks Clarke’s way and his eyes widen. He stands up fast, hands shaking, and mouth agape. 

“Clarke?”

It comes out like a whisper. The white noises of the Ring fade away as Clarke stares at Bellamy and listens to his breathing. At least she knows he’s still alive. 

“Bellamy.” 

There’s not much else to say, really. That was enough. They’re both crying again. Clarke wants to inch towards him but her feet feel glued to the floor. She looks down to see that the ground breaking. Cracks in the floor reveal the dark blue space with sprinkled stars. 

“No! Not yet.” 

She looks back up at Bellamy. He looks mortified and helpless. His mouth is still open but he doesn’t move. _She’s dead_. He reminds himself. _She’s gone, and you’ve gone insane._

Clarke feels the Earth tugging her down but she fights it. 

“Bellamy!” 

Most of her body is suddenly eaten by the ground. Her head being the only thing still in the room and her arms clinging onto the pieces of floor still there. Bellamy moves closer to her and looks down. 

“I want to believe this is real.” He manages out, desperate. 

“It is if you want it to be.” 

They stare at each other for a moment. A million unspoken words pass back and forth. An infinite monologue about emotions only they could understand. Clarke has a sudden surge of impulsiveness. A need to stay the one thing that needs to be said out loud. 

“I love you. I’ll be waiting for you.” 

Clarke let’s go of the floor and falls back at lightning speed to the ground. Her back crashes against her bed and she’s paralyzed again for a few seconds before she regains control and sits up violently. She’s heaves for a moment before the sobs start. 

She doesn’t go back to sleep that night. And neither does he.

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to say that if you guys could please leave feedback I’d appreciate it!


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